Lessons I've Learned From my Puppy, Who is Not a Puppy....but I call her that because she is little, though she is not as little as she should be, because....nevermind...

Ha, have no fear...just because the title of this post took about two minutes to read, this post is not going to be super long, I promise!
(You'll see in a minute that this post was started a while ago, sadly I didn't check the old date before I started adding more to it now.  I started it back when mom was alive, obviously... it was special to read what I wrote and I didn't want to change anything, although some of this is old.  But I just had another thing that hit me today about my little girl and remembered this post so I thought I would add to it... and maybe finally finish it.) :)
(Not sure of this start date) But just really quickly...she's not as small as she should be, she's a 15 pound Maltese!  We're working on it, well, at least one of us (me) is trying.  Bella and mom are a dynamic duo, working against me and not helping out at all...ah well.
Now to the real part of the post!
Just a few things that I learned from my sweet-ish little girl. :0)
Early each morning I go into mom's room to wake up mom and Bella.  Bella scrambles over pillows, covers, and even mom to get to me!  She is so excited to see me!  What a sweet morning welcome.  Sometimes, I can't even get to my mom to give her a kiss good morning because Bella has claimed her space and time with me.  I pick her up off the bed, pet her, talk to her, get kisses and love from her, before she is ready to get down and head outside.
Do I get excited and really look forward to spending time with the Lord in the morning?  Do I do what I can to make sure nothing gets in the way of my spending some time with him?  Do I treasure those moments?
Bella loves to go out and gets very excited.  I always take her out on a leash, because I'm just not sure if I can fully trust her without it.  Many times she is just chill and lays in the grass.  Many times she goes right to the very edge of the driveway and sits and looks to see what is going on.  She is usually OK sitting there.... until the temptation of a loud car or truck comes rumbling by, or that speedy bike dares to fly by, or some random "evil" person dares to walk by our house.  Then she is no longer that sweet little girl, she has become a totally different dog that I need to reign in.  How many times do I pull away from God?  How often do I get too close to the things that will tempt me?  How often do I displease Him by my actions and attitudes toward those temptations?
One other thing I noticed about Bella is that she will go as far away from me as possible...the very end of her leash...to make her messes.  Isn't that what we often do?  We get far away from the Lord and make messes when we are far away.  I'm so thankful that the Lord is so gracious when we do make those messes. (2/9/13)  He gently and lovingly cleans them up for us.  When Bella does make her messes she doesn't dwell there, maybe a second or two, but then she is on her way to other things.  Do I just constantly dwell on my messes?  Do I see them for what they are, try to correct them and go on with the other things I need to or should do?  Or do I just keep coming back to them and let them affect me?  God cleaned them up and they are no longer a thought to Him, so it should be the same for me.

Well, today, Saturday, February 9, 2013, we woke up to the aftermath of the blizzard with two names.  Channel 3, WFSB has been naming snowstorms for years and had named this storm Charlotte.  The weather center decided recently I guess to start naming it's snowstorms, too, so they named it Nemo.  So Blizzard Charlotte or Nemo came and left lots of snow for us...26 inches!  I woke up and had to take Bella out, she usually doesn't mind snow, but when she looked out and saw it right up to the door and higher she didn't want to go out.  So, I did what I have done before when the snow is too high for her, I got in front of her and started to make a path with my feet.  Then she felt comfortable enough to come out and down the stairs to the driveway.  She couldn't journey through it and wouldn't even attempt to until I had a slight path for her.  Even if the path was a little rough for her, she would still try to keep trudging along.  As I was sharing that with a friend on Facebook, I thought about what a great picture that is.  Christ has laid out a path for us, it may not always look the way we like, it may be a little scary to follow, and it may look rough sometimes, but He would never lead us someplace where He couldn't take care of us.  Do I trust Him like I should...like Bella trusted me this morning?  Do I feel confident in following the path He has for me?  Am I willing to keep on that path even though at times it may seem rough?  He knows where I need to be, where I should go, and how to get there, I just need to trust and follow Him.
Lord, thank you for my precious pup and all that she means to me, especially now!  Thank you for the lessons that I can learn from her.  Thank you for showing me things through her, that you want me to remember.  Help me to keep these lessons learned close to my heart!

Prayer

I have been quite the emotional wreck the past couple of weeks...crying over sad things, crying over beautiful things, crying over funny things...it just seems to be a never-ending saga with me lately.   I'm surprised I'm not all shriveled up with nothing left to push out of my eye sockets, but....that's definitely not the case.  Once again tonight I found myself crying.  No, it had nothing to do with a death, anniversary of a death, birthday, or other sad, beautiful, or funny event really.  You see I was at church, this is our Winter Revival.  I went praying to get just what I needed out of the message, not having any thought that whatever it was would just about make me cry through the whole service.  Evangelist Morris Gleiser is here speaking for the revival and tonight he had us turn to Luke 18:1-8.  By the time he got to verse 7..."And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them?" ....and then the first part of verse 8..."I tell you that he will avenge them speedily.", the tears had already started.  And I already knew this was going to be a message I needed!  He said that "It's not just about prayer, it's about faith in prayer."  And he reminded me that..."My God answers prayer."  Or as I wrote in my notebook..."MY GOD ANSWERS PRAYER!"
His first point was that we need to "have an expectant faith", and I loved that he said I should ask, so I can receive, and that my joy might be full!
He told the story of a little girl who saw a doll in a store window and begged her mother to just go inside to look at it, but her mother wasn't going inside, but she persisted and mentioned that she just wanted to hold it.  Mom gave in, but told her, she wasn't going to buy it.  After holding it the girl looked at her mom and asked about getting it and asked how much it cost, the mom said she was not going to be able to get it, and the cost was $14.  The little girl asked how much that would be in pennies and the mom told her 1,400 pennies.  So the little girl asked her mom if she thought that if she prayed and asked Jesus for 1,400 pennies He would give it to her, and of course the mother said yes.  But she wasn't really thinking the girl would even follow through with praying, and then would not have a clue where 1,400 pennies would come from.  But the girl did pray, and one night a neighbor came over with a gift for the little girl from her and her husband...wouldn't you know they had been collecting pennies for years.  They had a big glass jar they had been keeping them in, and since the jar was full they wondered what to do with it, and they thought of her and asked her if she wanted it.  Of course she did.  Her and her mother started counting those coins, and I am sure you are already with me, there were exactly 1,400 pennies in that jar!  He said many times in our prayer lives we are not devoted to prayer or praying specific prayers.  This little girl did and God answered her exactly as she asked.
He also stated that we need to "have enlarged faith".  There is nothing too hard for the Lord, but so often we forget that!  In Luke 18 it says we need to pray and not faint.  The widow in chapter 18 kept going to the judge and asking him to avenge her of her adversary....continually...troubling him about it constantly.  She was not even supposed to be allowed to go before the judge and was probably ignored or pushed away several times, until he finally did give in.  That chapter says God is nothing at all like this judge and wants to hear and answer our prayers.  And verse 8 says God will avenge speedily, but Bro. Gleiser said that doesn't mean right when we want it, we'll just get what we prayed for, it means in God's time table, His calendar, but in a sudden way.  He also told another story of a young lady that at the age of 19 with her parents consent moved from a small town in Texas to Dallas.  She found a job at a restaurant, and found a place to live.  The lady that she lived with asked her to come to church with her.  This young lady had been saved, but hadn't been going to church faithfully and started going with the owner of the house.  She started reading the Bible more and praying more, and one of the things she asked the Lord for one night was a godly husband to serve the Lord with.  The NEXT DAY at work a salesman came in, looking for the manager, but ended up talking to her.  They spent a good amount of time talking and ended up going out on a date that night to another restaurant.  They really started to like one another and TEN DAYS later they were married!!  Now so many times we hear of stories like that and it usually doesn't last, but Bro. Gleiser shocked me by saying, his parents were two of the most godly people he knew and he witnessed their love for each other.  His dad is in heaven now, but his mom is still living.  What a precious story of God's grace, and hearing and answering prayers!
His last point was that we need to "have enduring faith".  Ask, and keep on asking....seek, and keep on seeking...knock, and keep on knocking...and it SHALL be opened.  He said there are times when we get so overwhelmed that we just stop asking, but the Lord wants us to ask.  What father would not want to hear his children's needs and take care of them for them.  That's how our Heavenly Father wants to care for us.  He also told another story of a soldier who had just come back from serving in a war.  He was walking down the road toward his home when a nice car pulled over to give him a ride.  A very well dressed man was in the car and was ready to take him to his house before he went to his home in Chicago.  At one point in the conversation, the soldier asked the man if he knew Jesus as His Savior...if he knew where he would go if he were to die.  The wealthy man pulled the car over and the soldier just knew he was most likely going to have to walk the rest of the way or find another ride home because he figured he had offended the man.  But the man turned off the car, looked into the soldiers eyes with tears in his and said he didn't know, but thought it was about time he did know, and asked him to help him.  The soldier pulled out his Bible and shared with the man how he could be saved and there in the car the man accepted Christ.  They started back on the road to the soldiers house and the soldier shared as much as he could with this man about the next steps he needed to take.  When they got to the soldiers house, the man handed the soldier his business card and told them if he ever got to Chicago to look him up, because he would love to see him again.  It wasn't until 5 years later that the soldier got to Chicago and thought about this man.  He went to the address on the card and asked the receptionist to see this man, and explained how he knew him.  The receptionist said he wasn't there, but his wife was.  He went to go talk to her in hopes that maybe the man would eventually get back from where he was.  When he talked to the wife and told her how he knew her husband because of getting a ride from him and then leading him to the Lord, she was shocked and asked if he did accept Christ.  The soldier was shocked she didn't know, he had told the man to make sure to go home and tell his wife because she was already saved and she would love to hear that news, he was so surprised that he failed to tell her all this time.  When she asked the date of their meeting and he told her, she broke down weeping.  She told the soldier that that day on the highway into Chicago her husband had gotten in a terrible accident and died, he never came home.  And she said she had been angry with God for five years because she didn't know that her husband had accepted Christ.  She had prayed for him for 12-15 years.  She was so thrilled to get the news that the Lord had answered her prayers!
That story reminds me of another woman who prayed 12 years for her husband, every day.  Once she came to know Christ and her husband hadn't, she knew she had to pray for him.  Times were hard as he didn't want anything to do with church and didn't want her or their child to have anything to do with church.  He did let them go most of the time, but at times tried to keep them from going.  Yet she wouldn't be wavered and stayed strong and faithful, and continued to lovingly pray for him.  With his drinking many times it was difficult and scary to be around him, or to have the courage to still try to get to church, but she bravely did her part.  After 12 long years he finally came out to a service (he had been to a few here and there, but nothing consistent, and still showed no interest in godly things), but after this service that was a dedication of a new church building the Lord provided, this man went forward during the invitation to be saved!  What a huge blessing after so many years!  And can I just say...I'm so thankful my mom was willing to be consistent in that prayer, so I could have the blessing of seeing the faithful prayer of a righteous woman availing much, and so I could have the peace and joy of knowing my dad was going to heaven.  And today I have the blessed peace that both of them are there waiting for me!  So now can you see where those tears were coming from.  I think so many people needed that tonight and were so blessed by it!
Thank you, Lord, for the beautiful reminders about prayer!  So many things that in my weakness and frailty and humanity I forget.  Help me to remember You are my Father and You want to give good things to me because I am Your child!  Help me to have that expectant faith, and stop doubting that you will answer my prayers; help me to enlarge my faith in you, and not get weary in asking for sometimes the same thing over and over; and help me to have enduring faith as my mom had, and to come before continuing to ask, seek, and knock, until you show me suddenly what blessings you have in store for me.

Five Years

Five years seems long and yet so short at the same time.  I know I write about this almost every year, and it may be getting old for some, but it is helpful and healing to me.  Five years ago today, I was in the hospital with my dad.  It's hard to believe it's been five years.  This year of course it's a different experience as I am remembering him and missing mom at the same time.  Yes, of course I am so thankful that he and mom are home together enjoying the joys of heaven.  But...I really miss them.  I know I'm not supposed to want them back, but some days, I sort of have a wish that for just a little bit I could have them with me.  This week especially has been a bit difficult.  I have really been feeling a bit of the loneliness.  I think some of it comes from seeing so many families growing through pregnancies, births, engagements, or marriages.  It's just difficult sometimes to have such a quiet house to come home to and I'm missing having mom or dad to share things with, or just to talk to about things.  Even though I hadn't really been able to talk with mom a whole lot, she was still another spirit/soul in the house, and I could still communicate with her.  Yes, I'm blessed with my sweet pup, and she makes me laugh, but it's not the same as sharing the laughs or stresses of each day.  So, I am really missing them this week, and have definitely wept more than normal.
It was such a difficult thing five years ago to see my sweet, strong pappy in pain and struggling.  He still made a point to joke around and try to laugh with Cousin Pam, my friend Chinita's mom.  He also made a point to share his love with us as he went around the room telling each of us that he loved us.  What an amazing man he was all the way to the end.  Even his desire to keep mom from seeing his decline and his hanging on until we were no longer there to see him take his last breath.  I will never forget how full his room became as friends and family found he had passed and came to be with mom and I.  I received so many texts and phone calls and voice mails that night.  It was difficult for mom and I to be home without the thought of him ever being back here with us.  I know it was very hard for her.  She lost part of herself that day...I did too, but mom much more so, and in a much different way.  She had lost her best friend, the one she cared for and took amazing care of.  It's hard to be here five years later with neither of them here with me.  I have wonderful friends and family who constantly check on me and try to keep me going.  I am so thankful for them, but there are still times of loneliness and sadness and truly missing the two people who I have the most memories with, who know so much about me, who would be the only ones to know some things and would be the only ones I could go to for certain things.  I am truly thankful for the time I did have with them and I can't wait to see them again!
Thank you, Lord for my sweet parents, I miss them so much!  I don't always understand your plan, but I am holding on to the knowledge that You only do what is best.  I thank You that they are no longer in pain and have peace with You.  Please help me to have that same peace...and hope.  Hope that You have more of a future for me.  Help me to trust You and always to follow you!

What a Winter!

Winter has always been one of my favorite times of year!  I love the cold, the cozy nights, the decorations, the excitement and joy, and most of all.....the SNOW!!  I was looking forward to winter, but a little apprehensive this year since I wouldn't have either mom or dad here to celebrate or decorate or share the joy with.  I still made sure to take the time to decorate, just like normal.  This year, the Lord gave me the awesome idea of making the upstairs tree a butterfly tree in honor of mom.  She used to love sitting in the living room looking at that tree.  I had butterflies put on her casket and saw some beautiful butterfly ornaments at the Dollar Tree and later at Michael's.  I also got some butterflies from friends to add to my tree!  I love it and think it looks beautiful!
Winter was becoming quite busy, so I was looking forward to break.  There were parties and get-togethers and the concert, things to make and get prepared for.  Monday was the school faculty and staff party.  We were encouraged to make our gifts to each other this year.   I LOVE Pinterest and that helped me with great ideas for some of the things I needed to make.

 This started out as a Tastefully Simple Cocoa can and a piece of cardboard for the rim.  Got the idea from Stephanie at Stars 'N' Sparkles, Blooms 'N' Bling.  Spray painted it all black, hot glued the can to the cardboard.  Found sparkly red tape to put around the base of the hat.  Flicked a little white paint on the hat.  Got some holiday greenery and hot glued that to the cardboard as well.  It was pretty easy to do, and I was happy with how it turned out.  Not nearly as nice as the original from Stephanie, but I will probably be doing this again.  It was my grab bag gift for our faculty and staff Christmas party at school.

 Stephanie suggested putting goodies inside.  So, I made peppermint meringues also from Pinterest. :)

Thursday night was the Christmas concert as well as our midweek church service.  Of course I forgot that on Wednesday night and went to the church only to see an empty parking lot and dark church, only then did I remember...ugh.
Then Friday brought tremendous sadness after hearing about the awful tragedy in Newtown.  As I heard my heart sank and was so broken.  We were only hearing bits and pieces as we were still in school.  When I got home I bawled as I watched the sadness on the news.  Still heartbroken!  There is just so much sadness!  We had a great Christmas Around the World party in 3rd grade!  Yummy foods and drinks from some of the cultures represented in our classroom.  We had sauerkraut, Swedish meatballs, ravioli, flan, yule log cake, and Jamaican cola and grapefruit drinks.  We made gifts for the parents again from ideas on Pinterest.
We made these Five Finger Snowman ornaments from Stephanie from Full of Great Ideas.

And then I tried the DIY wooden picture from Crystal Hethcote on Youtube.  I love how these came out, a little dark and hard to see the kids faces from the pictures I took. But they are really cute, love them!!

 Then it was time for break.....finally, I was so glad about that, and very ready.  I was tired!  Wednesday was spent doing some catch up things and that night was church.  Pastor asked us to pray specifically for my friend Erin, who had been in the hospital for a while struggling with breathing problems.  She needed a lung transplant, but she wasn't healthy enough for one yet, so we prayed earnestly for her healing that night.  Thursday morning, I read an email from the church that stated that Erin had passed away earlier in the morning.  Once again my heart was broken.  My friend was only 29 years old, so full of love and life, she was hilarious and so much fun to know!  I cried because I was truly going to miss her, I cried for her parents, having to bury their only child, I cried for her husband of two years, having to bury his wife...the love of his life, I cried for her family and friends and students who were going to miss her incredible spirit.  That was a tough day.  Then Friday came and as I wrote in my previous post, I felt very compelled to go to Newtown/Sandy Hook to show support for that sweet little town.  Sunday and Monday were church.  Sunday I also heard some more sad news about one of my former Bible teachers from college, he had a heart attack after the service and was in the hospital, later that night he passed away.  My heart was broken for his family!  So much sadness within just a little over a week!  Monday we had a candlelight Christmas Eve service.  I was in the nursery, but there were lots of people and from the little I could hear, it seemed like a great service.  After the service I was blessed to be able to spend the rest of the evening with wonderful friends!  We had great food and fellowship and opened presents.  It was a special night.
Christmas day came and of course I was missing my parents, but had presents under the tree to enjoy from my sweet friend.  Then I had the pleasure of watching Bella tear open her presents.

 I made a nice breakfast for myself and then went to my aunt and uncle's house.  This was how I was used to spending my Christmas, so it was great to have that sense of normalcy!  It was great to see one of my uncles that doesn't usually feel well enough to get out much.  It was a great time with lots of laughs with my aunts, uncles, and cousins!  I am so thankful for them, and it was nice, though I missed my mom and dad, I enjoyed a great time with them!  Wednesday was the wake for my friend and Thursday was the funeral.  Both were truly sweet and though terribly sad, they were beautiful and a blessing to be a part of.  So, yes, it has definitely been a winter, I must say one of the saddest that I have experienced.  But I am so thankful that my God is always constant.  He's always there, offering peace and hope to those who need it.  He has given strength in such amazing ways.  I have seen it in the families of the victims of Sandy Hook, and in the town itself, even in the signs that they have around town, We are Sandy Hook, We choose love.

 One of the little 6 year old victims Ana Marquez-Greene's parents write messages on Facebook, and their phrase is Love wins!  People have been choosing to do random acts of kindness in honor of the victims, all over the country.  I also saw that strength in my friend's parents and husband during her wake and funeral!  And again it has been evident in the Facebook posts from my friend, the daughter of the Bible teacher who died.  Only God can give that!  So through all of the sadness I think maybe we have truly been given a reminder as to what Christmas is really about.
Lord, may we never forget the Love that you sent to us so that we could accept that Love and share it with others. Help us to choose love and let love win!  Help us not to only think of this in the face of tragedy, but to remember it and live it all year.

I Just Felt Compelled

I have heard these words so much lately, and I can totally relate.  I got up Friday and got a text from a friend who was going to come check out the problem with my back porch.  He came over and saw what my concern was, and he also walked around and noticed some other things that he wanted to make me aware of.  Then he shared with me that he will be helping to take care of these things in the days ahead.  He even took the time to temporarily jack up the porch for me so I wouldn't be afraid to walk on it.  Oh yea, and did I mention....it was pouring rain the whole time!!  So, he also dug out some small trenches around the house to keep the water from pooling right by the house. What an incredible blessing!!
A little after he left the rain stopped and the sun tried to make a bit of an appearance.  As I was just doing things around the house my mind kept going to Newtown.  I just felt compelled to go down there to show my support and love.  It was amazing to see how much support and love has been showered on this little town.  Here are some pictures I took.

The traffic to get to the memorial site

The bear that I left to show support!

Sandy Hook Angels

This touched me so much, 6 larger penguins and 20 little ones.

Another sweet, sad tribute with 6 larger bears and 20 little ones.

More things left for support and love across the street.

To the right  of the tree was a girl that was giving hugs to people.

Little angels

20 little hearts + 6 heroes = 26 angels

Therapy dogs were there for people to pet and to bring a sweet smile to faces!

I also felt compelled to go by the church where the funeral for little Ana was being held right up the street from me.  I had a purple sparkly shirt on to show my support for the family.  I know her cousins so my heart was knit there in more than one way.

This was the sky outside the church right after the funeral for little Ana Marquez-Greene.

Leaving the church to go to the burial site.

Horse drawn carriage for this precious little girl, so heartbreaking!

Let's not forget!  May we feel compelled to keep this spirit of love and kindness and caring all through the year!
Continuing to pray for Newtown and the families of the victims.  May they know the peace that only Jesus can bring!