Challenges

Just writing this post right now is a challenge for me. I have been wanting to write a new post for a while now, but it has been a challenge to know what to write. There were and are so many things running through my head that I wanted to write about, but just wasn't sure what to share or how to share it or how much to share. I wanted to do a post on "being real". Lately that has been something that has come up a few times in conversations with others, or in other blogs I've read. There is a real need for people to be more "real". Sometimes part of my challenge in sharing my challenges is I am a little afraid at times to be real for fear of "spiritual reprimand". Those who are more "spiritual" instead of helping me through the challenge by offering up prayer, just listening quietly, or just sharing and showing that they understand my hurt, will in a sense reprimand me for not being as spiritually strong and great as they are. Then I started thinking about challenges, hence the title. :)Sometimes people who are going through challenges just want people to let them vent, understand their hurt, and if they can't understand the hurt or relate to it, say that. Tell the person you can't understand what they are going through and you are sorry that they have to go through it. I guess what I'm saying is, sometimes it's harder and more hurtful to just hear how wrong we are being for hurting, or how we must not be trusting the Lord or His will for us, or not accepting His will for us, almost as if we should be ashamed. That's not right, neither is it fair. People go through real hurt and need someone who can be real with them. I mean look at David, look at some of his Psalms, he talks about his soul being disquieted within him. And yes, of course he talks about his hope being in God. But he has to vent a little first, get it out, share it, then he can help to remind himself of that. If we can't vent and feel free to hurt then how can we remind ourselves of God's goodness to us, how can we remind ourselves to hope in God. As I have mentioned in a former post, don't be like Job's friends, who were miserable comforters. There are actually a couple of instances in just the past week to explain what I am talking about. One example is from another blog that I read. One of the comments under the latest post was about a single girl who had to be maid of honor in her younger sister's wedding after her wedding had just been cancelled. She mentioned how her friends understood how painful this was for her. They would tell her how the situation was awful for her... they didn't just tell her to get over it and be happy for her sister, or tell her that she needed to deal with it because that was obviously the Lord's plan for her. No, they helped her by acknowledging her pain. She said that that was what helped her to be able to feel strong enough to genuinely feel happy for her sister. She didn't feel as if she had to pretend it didn't hurt. They allowed her to hurt, and because of that to be able to celebrate with her sister. That is more spiritually helpful than all the right "spiritual/Christian" things to say. The other example is a sad one. A girl I know from college was requesting prayer yesterday for her 5 year old daughter who had contracted Ecoli earlier in the week. I just saw it yesterday. Well, the comments were so sweet, just praying for this family. Yesterday afternoon, the mom posted that her little girl was in the arms of Jesus. This broke my heart as I'm sure it does for anyone reading this. I just had to read what people were commenting to them. It was amazing because, so many said, I can't begin to understand how you are feeling, but know I'm praying for you. Or just simply, I'm praying for you and your family, or my heart is breaking for you, or I'm praying for you, I have a little one in the arms of Jesus too. I'm sure these comments probably meant so much to her. Those type of comments will do more to encourage and help her through this challenge than anything else. I guess all I am asking is that we acknowledge someone's pain or hurt or challenge, feel for them, let them know we feel for them, and will bear their burden with them, without judging and without "spiritual reprimands". Show loving kindness rather than godly rightness.
Wednesday was a good day for me, I was able to share some of my challenges with a dear lady who is always so willing to listen and doesn't make me feel bad for hurting. We talked about that and how that was so needed, especially in Christian circles. The Bible talks about bearing one another's burdens, but how can we do that if we don't allow people to share those burdens. Then I got to spend time with a really great friend. She needed to talk to me, and share some challenges, and I needed to talk to her and share some of mine. We were both able to encourage one another. What a blessing! So thankful for friendships like that! Then that night we went to a Kids Krusade which is VBS. One of my former students wrote up the whole theme and parts and everything. It was based on Clue. The setup in the fellowship hall was amazing, different games and things for the kids to find and do. Secret passageways were built into the set, it was awesome! The Bible lesson was on Lazarus, and the key word for the night that we went was patience. Mary and Martha had to be patient. The Lord didn't come right away when He heard Lazarus was sick. Even though Lazarus died before the Lord got there, Jesus performed a wonderful miracle for them! Then my former student got up to share just a little more, about trusting God even when we don't understand. Having patience to wait for the good even though it's very hard. Again, I was truly blessed. When faced with challenges, I/we know the Lord is in control, we know He has a plan that may not be our plan, we may not like it much, and we may really struggle, but we can come to that on our own. So long as we can be real and share our real hurts and real challenges with real people who will listen and not judge and allow us to be able to hurt and to celebrate in our own way and time.
Lord, I hope I haven't been too real, or said something that wouldn't please you. I felt as if you allowed me the freedom to finally get this out to share. Whether people read it or not, and whether they agree or not, I feel this is something important to understand. There are challenges in life, it's not easy. You never promised it would be. So when I falter and fail, and struggle, help me to find the right people who will help encourage me in you and allow me to feel my hurt, hurt with me, pray with me, and celebrate with me as we see you work through the challenge. Help me through these challenges I have been going through, I can only conquer through you and your name. Then, Lord, I pray for other friends I know who are going through some pretty strong challenges, help them to see you. Be that ever present help in their time of trouble. God, thank you for being so good even when I'm not. (Just being real) Love you, Lord!