2013 started off with me still struggling with the death of my mom, and not long after her death, the sadness of my friend Erin passing, and the awful tragedy of Sandy Hook. Things started off OK, though...got back into the swing of school, made it through the 5th anniversary of my dad's death, and mom's first birthday in heaven, and then my first birthday without her. It was a bit strange celebrating with no immediate family for the very first time in my life, but I was treated very well, and spoiled by my kids at school, and my friends. It was pretty special!
Then came March, and my heart broke again in ways I couldn't imagine as my dear friend Angie passed away unexpectedly! It was devastating! I didn't know I had that many more tears in me after my mom's death...but boy did I! I miss her so much every day! We did some special things to remember her, and special things for her family, which were helpful to us as well. But of course the school year went on. There were many things still to come, Fine Arts, the Amerathon, the play, the banquet, and then graduation. Things ended well, and I was more than happy to have my summer vacation. I was very tired...emotionally and physically exhausted. I was excited, but yet very sad, as I would be spending the summer without my companion, my friend, my sweet mom. I really missed her!
Then financial troubles started coming my way, things that were so discouraging because there was no quick, easy fix for them, and they weren't getting better or going away. And there wasn't much I could do about them. It wasn't just one or two little things, it was one thing after another, after another. So, I couldn't do much, but I worked at the school, and then spent the rest of the time at home so I wouldn't be spending any extra money. So, though I got rest, it still wasn't a very restful summer, with so many things on my mind. There were other heartaches and sorrows over the summer as well that just made things hard, sad. Then not too far from the new school year starting I found out my job description would be different, and that scared me quite a bit. First, I have never taught a combined class before, whereas the other teachers all had. Second, I would have that tough class again, and add another interesting class to it. Third, there were going to be 19 of them! Yes, I was quite nervous! But as I've had to do so many times in the past year... several years, I had to learn to put my trust in the Lord. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't do it all cute and spiritual-like. I'm sadly not that good! I did it with a
As usual, I don't know (none of us does) what this year holds in store for me, but I will just try to stick with the truth that I learned this summer, and just try to trust. But you know what, I hope I can do better than that, and just simply trust. I'm very human, though, and not always that good. Hopefully though, I can remember the Lord loves me and wants the best for me, though sometimes I don't see or understand what He is doing...
....but Lord, help me to simply trust You this year!