It Was Today...

It was today, four years ago, that the most important, special man in my life left this earth, and my mom and me, for his wonderful new home in heaven.  It was today, four years ago, that I woke up just thinking of having great day with my best friend at a basketball game.  It was today, four years ago, that those plans quickly changed.  It was today, four years ago, that I got a phone call that scared me and made me wonder...wonder if this would be the day.  It was today, four years ago, that I went to the hospital and struggled to be strong as I saw the man I loved so dearly in so much pain.  It was today, four years ago, that my best friend and her mom came to the hospital to be with mom and me.  It was today, four years ago, that my mom's pastor left whatever he was doing to come be with us.  It was today, four years ago, that I really saw my dad in real pain, and unable to hide that pain.  It was today, four years ago, that I saw him going down hill.  It was today four years ago, that the nurses tried to take my pappy's blood and couldn't even do that.  It was today, four years ago that this wonderful, amazing man, despite all of his pain went around the room...twice... telling everyone in the room he loved them.  It was today, four years ago, that we waited with him and wouldn't leave his side until it was time for him to go down and get his cat scan.  It was today, four years ago, that I kissed him on his forehead and told him I loved him and made sure mom did the same before they took him for his cat scan.  It was today, four years ago, that we went down to the restaurant in the hospital to eat while we waited for pappy to come back from his cat scan.  It was today, four years ago, that when my friend Chinita and I were in the hallway a couple of doctors asked us to get our moms and pastor.  It was today, four years ago, that the doctors took us in a private room and had mom and I sit down while they delivered the dreadful, heartbreaking, mind-numbing news that my pappy had passed away.  It was today, four years ago, my pappy, the most amazing man...the one I loved so dearly...the one who made me feel beautiful...the man, who I always knew was so proud of me...the man who would often tell the corniest jokes...the man who would make fun of me for crying at TV shows or movies...the one who used to watch WWF with me on Saturday mornings...the one who would swing me on his amazingly huge and strong biceps muscle...the one who would watch Dance Fever with me, and try some of the moves with me...the one who helped me ride my bike...the one who finally came to know the Lord as his Savior when he was about 52 years old...the one who was always in church after that...the man who was a favorite chef at Cigna for over 30 years...the man who was always giving and kind to all...the one who took amazing care of his family...that amazing man would no longer be able to kiss, hug, laugh, talk, or share with me on this side of Jordan.  It was today, four years ago, that I thought my heart would break in two.  It was today, four years ago, that I sobbed louder than I have ever heard just because I missed him.  It was today four years ago, that the hospital became totally full of family and friends who came to be with us and reached out to us.  It was today four years ago, that I saw my strong, fun uncles, my sweet aunts, my funny cousins, break down, and cry over their brother, brother-in-law, or uncle.  It was today, four years ago, that I saw my pappy's friends grieve over not having him here any longer.  It was today, four years ago, that I just sat by my pappy's bedside holding his hand...I just wanted to hold that loving hand for as long as I could.  It was today, four years ago, that mom and I were covered in so much love from so many wonderful people.  It was today, four years ago, that mom and I came home, and though pappy hadn't been in the house for several days, it seemed more empty that night.  It was today, four years ago, that mom and I clung to each other to help each other grieve.  I can't believe it's been four years, the memories are as vivid as if it had just been yesterday.  The Lord has helped us through these past four years without him.  I miss him so much, but I am glad that I have the assurance that I know I will see him again one day!  What a glorious day that will be!
Oh, pappy, I miss you so much, I think of you all the time and wonder what life would be like if you were here.  I know it was the Lord's time for you to be home with him in a place of rest and peace.  But it is hard for us still here, living without you.  Thank you, for who you are to me, and who you always were to me.  I love you dearly, miss you dearly, and can't wait to see you again soon!
Lord, thank you for loving my pappy!  Thank you for helping him come to know you, so he is in the best place to be.  Thank you that he is free from pain!  Help me to continue to be strong and trust you and your plan for my life!  Give him my love.  Tell him eins, zwei, drei, vier, ich liebe dich, auf wiedersehen! (What we used to say to each other every night.)  Give him a big hug from me, his pooky pooky poo!