Busy, Busy, BUSY!!

I have an important post that I have wanted to post, but haven't had the chance yet, because so much has been going on here.  Last week mom was in the hospital...again!  We were just there a couple of weeks before that!  But, I was concerned about how she was holding her right hand (folded in on itself), and she seemed to struggle with moving her right leg when she was walking.  The doctors said they did not believe it was a stroke.  They said she had a trace UTI, and was dehydrated.  But they couldn't figure out the hand and wrist, a neurologist came by and said he thought it was something called wrist drop.  He said with a splint and maybe some exercise and therapy it could get better.  But there was really no plan in place to specifically work with her with that hand.  Since she's been home she has been in bed the whole time.  I think she got used to just sitting in the bed at the hospital watching TV, and being fed.  So, when she got home, she wasn't really up to moving much.  She hasn't really been moving much.  It's hard to see that, because she is too young to just be laying in bed.  I have to roll her to change her, she can't even get up to get on her bedside commode.  That Saturday, the day after she came home she started hitting at me and got very upset with me as I tried to roll her to change her.  She told me she didn't know what had happened to me.  She said she would never do that (move someone) if they were in that much pain.  I was in nurse mode at the time, so I didn't let it get to me.  That was very difficult.
But the nurse said they wouldn't be sending physical therapy in because she can't remember what she is told so there was no reason.  That was hard for me to accept, but I had no choice.  I felt pretty defeated, we were not going to get physical or occupational therapy, and they were decreasing her Alzheimer's meds down to 5mg.  It just seemed the plans that were being put in place were just to keep her in bed without much hope or help for me to get her moving again.  The one thing is that the nurse understood my desire to keep her home with me and was helping with that.  But don't they know that keeping her home would be much easier if she could get around like before?  How is having her just lying there with a hand that won't work helping me?  The next day she said a Palliative Care nurse would come out.  I had asked her what that was and she said a form of hospice.  Hospice????  That word sounds like death to me!  I don't like it at all.  But she explained that Palliative is not quite the same, so that made me feel better.  The next day rolls around and a nice nurse came over to talk to us (I say us because mom's sister and brother-in-law are here from VA).  Only my aunt is staying here, my uncle was staying with my mom's brother.  He helped to fix the back steps which were coming loose.  He also fixed the leak in the bathroom sink, and helped fix a couple of chairs with Liquid Nail glue.  So, not only do I have to get used to all of the new developments with mom and her help, now I have to hostess family.  It's been a bit stressful.  So, anyway, the nurse talked to us and said she was from Hospice.....what????  I thought it was going to be Palliative!  No, she said the doctor gave the OK for Hospice to come out.  I really wasn't sure about that.  As she spoke I heard some key things, first we needed to get a hospital bed in here to help keep her safe and keep her more comfortable.  That couldn't happen unless we had Hospice.  Then, the nurse said that it could be revoked if the caregivers felt it was no longer needed, people had done that before, she also said she has seen people get better because of Hospice and they end up discharging them from it.  The next thing she said that got my attention was that with Hospice, mom could get Massage Therapy and Music Therapy...DING!!  That did it! Massage...I'm all about the massage, and I know how important and wonderful and beneficial that can be.  Music...ummmm...I'm a music nerd, I love music!  Mom loves music!  How could I not want those things?!  Now I was more convinced than ever that this was the right thing to do.  I had to make that decision, and I told her, I wanted to get Hospice set up.  She got everything started, went in and met mom, took her vitals, and before she left gave me a hug!
That was the beginning of being introduced to my team of helpers.  A little after the Hospice nurse left the Home Health Aide came to bathe mom.  She actually got her to sit on the edge of the bed!!  That was the first time since the hospital that she had!!!  I was thrilled to see that.  We even got her into a wheelchair that was lovingly donated to us.  She sat in there for a while.  I was hoping to keep her in the chair, since the new bed would be coming, but as she started to nod, she started leaning forward in the chair and her sister got nervous and wanted to put her back in bed.  She didn't think the bed would still be coming after 5 in the evening.  So mom's brother and I got her back to bed.  After a bit I went downstairs to get a bit of a breather and no sooner had I done that my aunt called down to me to tell me the bed was here!  Wow!  If we had only kept her in the chair, oh well.  Now my uncle and I had to get her back up and out.  This is pretty painful for her.  We were told by the aide that the guys could help take down and move the old bed, but they said they weren't allowed to do that.  So, both of my uncles set to work to do that.  They got it down and moved into the living room.  They asked what I wanted to do with it, and I said just put it on the curb to see who might pick it up.  They refused to do that because they said it was too good to do that.  They wanted to put it in the guest room.  The guest room is so much smaller than mom and dad's room, and I just felt this huge queen size bed would over power the room.  But they still had those plans.  That room still had a bunch of stuff in there that I needed to go through.  My uncle mentioned that, but I said, I wasn't ready to even think of tackling that yet.  The next morning our new Care Manager came out to meet us.  She was a nice young lady!  As we were talking I found out she went to my school a few years back and she goes to church where some of our kids at school go to church, such a small world.  It was nice to be able to share blessings and talk about the Lord with her.  Later that day the aide came out again to wash mom.  I got a phone call from one of my former kids whose mom was in the area and wanted to stop by and help out.  She and her son stopped by and my aunt and uncle left to go to her brother's house.  So we were able to get to all the stuff in that guest room that I needed to go through.  It was so easy with her help, she wasn't pushy, but was so helpful, which is just what I needed!  We got it done quicker than I ever thought possible!  Then a home security company stopped by to talk about their company and what they could do to make things better here.  They convinced me it was time to change our old security system over.  While they were talking to me, my friend lovingly got the rest of the room finished up for me, and my aunt had returned, but kept calling me to help her with things for mom.  So I was running back and forth.  After these guys were done, they had the installation guy come over and he installed everything.  So that was another busy day.  The next day the Hospice social worker came over and she was super helpful, listened to what I needed to tell her, and to how I felt, offered suggestions and advice to help me.  She was wonderful, as we were talking the aide came to bathe mom.  Not too long after that the Massage Therapist came for mom's session.  It worked well because the aide had just finished mom's bath.  So then mom was clean and dressed for her massage.  She liked it! When the Social Worker and Massage Therapist left they also gave me hugs, which were greatly appreciated.
I had cancelled the homemaker/companion coming over for the first time because my uncle had planned a meeting with his attorney to get things squared away for mom and I.  So, I didn't want her to come without me being there to meet her and she if she was a good match, and to try to help Bella ease into meeting her.  So although I was exhausted I reluctantly went with my aunt and uncle to this appointment.  The attorney and another lady from his office were very helpful, and we now have things in place to help me and mom.  When we got back home the homemaker/companion ended up coming anyway, she never got the message until she was already here. Yet another busy day!  The next day the Hospice nurse came out, and checked on things, then the aide came, but before she did, I went out to the school to try to help out, but no one was there.  I went to the church to do a couple of things and got those done and talked to a few people.  When I got back home my uncle came over (my other uncle, my aunt's husband left that morning heading back home, but my aunt decided to stay), and my aunt wanted to have a meeting with me and my uncle about what the next steps are and what she gathered from meeting with the attorney the day before.  She talked about all the things I needed to do and try to get done while she was here, never saying when she was leaving.  But I finally found my voice and explained how this was a stressful busy week and with people here all the time I feel as if I have to entertain and don't get much me time.  I told her that there were some friends that wanted to do things with me at the beginning of next week and I planned to go.  So some of these things might be put on hold for a couple of days.  I said a few other things that needed to be said as well.  And I was glad, though I did feel guilty after, but the Lord knows I did it with love and in the right way.  So...yes, it's been quite busy.  Not quite how I expected my summer to go...not quite how I expected my life to be at this point, but I'm going to keep trusting the Lord through it and wait for Him to show me the outcome.  He's already showed me many blessings which I will share very soon!
Lord, thank you for being with me through all of this.  I feel overwhelmed and not good enough.  But you are steadily showing me how strong you are making me.  You are allowing me to see that what I am doing for mom is love in action, strength from You, and a testimony to others.  I am nothing and I do most things wrong, but thanks for helping things to be right.  Thanks for showing yourself in many different ways lately!  I love you, Lord!