Every Day...Every MOMENT is Precious!

As I woke up early this morning and walked into mom's room, checking to see if she was still breathing and still with me, I thanked the Lord for another day to see her breathe, to kiss her, and hold her hand, and talk to her even though she is not responding to much today.
I felt the same way yesterday morning as I walked in and she looked at me as I came in and gave her a kiss.  Yesterday she acknowledged me with a sweet look and a kiss.  She shook her head yes when I asked if she slept well.  She did the same when I asked if she was OK.   When I told her I would be back after taking Bella out, she gave me a nod.  I winked at her and she winked back.  That wink gets me every time!  I love it!  After changing her, I let her rest for a bit.  I knew she wasn't going to be able to eat much.  My aunt (her sister) came over about 9:30 that morning.  We called the hospice nurse to see if she could come out earlier to check on mom and give us advice on what to do for mom.  She told me that they don't do IV's, so we were just supposed to try to keep doing the best we can with liquids and any soft food that she might take.  Then she went through the Comfort Pack with me.  We talked and as she mentioned to me that I was doing a good job, and at least mom was home with people she loved and who loved her, I broke down.  Hearing those words at that time, hearing that there was not much else that we could do, really got to me.  I totally feel comfortable and have no regrets at all about keeping her home with me!  I thank God that He has helped me to take care of her with strength and love.  Couldn't do any of this without Him!  After the nurse left, I was excited to have a friend come over to fulfill a wish I have had for a little while now.  I have wanted to have a professional picture of mom, Bella, and myself taken for a couple of years now, but never got around to it.  Then as I see her getting weaker this week, I was getting nervous that it might not happen.  Two nights ago I contacted my friend, Cory, and she told me she could come yesterday to do that for me.  So she came and took a few pictures of mom, Bella, and me.  Then some of mom and her sister, and last some of all of us!  I am so thankful that the Lord allowed us to get that done yesterday!  I had been afraid to ask such a strange request, but she was so gracious and excited to do it for me.  So thankful!  I started contacting friends yesterday to let them know mom still wasn't eating or drinking much, and there was not much else to do for her except give her the comfort pack meds.

The homemaker/companion came to sit with her, she responded a little bit.  Then the aide came.  This was a newer aide than we had, and she was wonderful with mom.  Mom seemed to respond well to her, too.  I called her pastor to let him know what was going on, not too long after, he and his son came by to visit us.  They went in and chatted with mom, she gave a little wave when Jordan said hello, but other than that just looked at them.  I am so glad she saw their faces and heard their voices.  I'm sure that meant something to her.  He also gave us some money for dinner for my aunt and myself.  A little after mom's good friend Betty came over to see her.  It has probably been close to a year since she has seen her, because she is not a fan of crazy Bella.  The last time she came to see mom, I wasn't there.  Mom had put Bella in her crate, then decided to let her out and told her friend not to worry she would keep her on her lap.  But Bella is not willing to let anyone go unnoticed in this house, and soon bounded off mom's lap to jump on mom's friend.  She was so shocked she took one of the chair pillows and threw it at Bella.  I love my Bella, but I had to laugh about that and say that she kinda deserved it.  So, she told both mom and I that she wasn't coming over unless I was there.  So, when I told her, I'm pretty much always here with mom, she decided to come over.  When she went into the room, I could just tell mom recognized her.  She looked and held out her hand.  She has been restless and keeps moving her left hand up and down.  It reminds me of what dad did on his last day.  But it was neat to see her recognize her friend.  Then when I let Bella down, she got nervous and told me I better hold my dog, and I couldn't help but laugh, and so was she, and.....mom kinda did, too!  It was great to hear and see.  That happened a couple of times.  She fed mom some ice cream, and she took some, then she also got a little bit of grape juice spooned into her mouth.  Then not long after another of mom's friends....her niece Pam came over too.  She skipped out on her birthday dinner yesterday to come visit mom.  It was so neat to see them all together again!  Mom recognized her, too and responded to her.  They spent a nice amount of time with us.  It was a nice night.  Mom finally nodded off to sleep while they were still there.  She was pretty comfortable.  I gave her some meds to keep her from being so restless.  Her sister sat with her for a while, then I sat with her watching the Olympics for a while, just listening to her breathe.  She has been breathing heavier.  But I gave her more meds changed her, then went to sleep...or at least tried to.  I did get a little bit of rest here and there, but kept checking on her.
As I already said, this morning it was such a joy and blessing to see her chest still rising and falling.  That was a special moment.  I didn't get any of the extras, she could barely keep her eyes open, but I could still kiss her, touch her, talk to her, hold her hand.  Those are always going to be special moments for me to remember.  Another friend came over this afternoon.  She brought mom a bit of hydrangea from her garden. Then she stood over mom's bed and sang some precious songs to her, and talked to her.  The homemaker/companion joined in with a couple of songs.  It was special.  These moments and days are precious memories that I intend to hold onto forever.  So thankful for days, and for moments like these.
Lord, this is such a tough time for me.  These past few days have been very difficult, but thank you for allowing me so many wonderful moments to treasure with mom and family and friends.  Help none of us to take our days or our moments for granted.  Help us to treasure moments and days in our lives!