Saturday, April 13, 2013

Doubt, Fear, and Trust

The past few months have been a struggle!  I have been trying to trust the Lord.  I have been trying to wait on Him.  I have been trying to leave my cares on Him.  I have been trying to encourage myself in His Word.  But Satan has been trying to speak words of doubt into my mind....doubt that He will answer my prayer requests, doubt that He will do it in the time it needs to be answered, doubt that He wants to answer because I am not worthy...so many doubts.  I try not to listen to them, but they still come.  Then I try to remind myself of the things that God has already done in my life to show Himself to me, and I try to remember some of the things that He has been trying to teach me.  It's not always easy though.
The other day a friend and I were talking and as we were talking she ended up telling me about some doubts that had been spoken to her about something she just wanted to feel a peace about.  There was some validity to things that had been spoken, which made her doubts even stronger.  She told me that she got down on her knees before bed that night with her Bible open in front of her and cried out to the Lord to give her a verse, something to confirm that things were going to be OK. She found nothing.  She was so discouraged afterwards.  As she was talking to me, the Lord graciously reminded her the words were spoken by someone without the same motives and desires as she had for the situation.  Then the Lord brought to my mind some of the things I had learned.  She told me some of the positive things about the situation that she knew.  I told her Satan had used that other person to speak doubts to her, but all the positive things she was remembering were the things she needed to speak out loud to Satan in those times he tried to make her doubt.  I told her to even write them down to help her remember and speak them.  The other day as Satan was trying to feed me some lies, the Lord graciously allowed me to look in my driveway to see the car that He unexpectedly gave to me when I was struggling with wrong doubts and fears.  He reminded me that when Satan tries to tell me that God cannot, will not, or might not do something, I could look in the driveway and be reminded of what He ALREADY has done.  It was so much fun for me to see my friend's countenance change as I shared things with her. I was also able to remind her of something else I had been doing lately...reminding the Lord of His promises to me, that I am His and He has promised to take care of me in my times of need.  That He has promised if I have faith He promised to move my mountains, that if I prayed and asked in faith believing He would answer.  It was a blessing to me and a good reminder to my spirit as I spoke to her, and it was neat to see that it helped her spirit as well.  She felt better, but as she walked down the hallway, she said out loud, Lord if you could just send a lightning bolt to show me what I need.
After we finished talking, I went to see another friend who has also been struggling with some doubts and fears.  But when I went to see her, she showed me an answer to one of her prayers.  It was a shock, because I'm not sure either one of us thought that would be answered in that way.  I was truly blessed seeing that answer to her prayer.  Not that everything is wonderful and fully resolved, but it was part of what was needed to see the Lord's hand at work in the situation.  But then she had something that she had learned that week that she wanted to share with me, something that encouraged her and something she knew would encourage me, too.  She shared versed Psalm 1:1-3.  I've read those verses thousands of times, and I will admit I was a little skeptical about what they had to do with my situations that I have been praying and crying out to the Lord about.  She said the main part was the first part of verse 3.  "And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that bringeth forth his fruit in his season..."  Again, what does this really have to do with my situation, or even hers?  But then she read to me the notes that she took about that verse.  She said the person who she heard shared with them that there may be times in our lives where we don't feel like the Lord hears us, or that He is not answering our prayers.  And before we get discouraged and doubt, we need to consider that as this verse states that the Lord will bring forth His fruit in HIS season.  It may not be the time we were hoping or thinking He would answer, but His time.  But what she said next totally struck me, she said the reason He may not have answered that in the time or way we would be hoping is because that fruit may not be ripe yet!  It may not be ready to develop yet, and He knows the perfect time for that fruit to ripen so that it will bring forth much more fruit in His season.  Wow!!!  The first thing I thought was thank you, Lord, but my next thought was to find the first friend I had been talking to to share it with her.  She happened to still be there and I was able to share those words with her...she got chills as I told them to her.  The Lord didn't give her that verse the night before when she wanted it, but gave it to her the next day, with a great message that went with it!  I told her if that was not a lightning bolt I don't know what was.  We were both so excited to get that confirmation from the Lord!  He is so good to do that!!
That evening was church and Pastor's message was on the tongue.  Of course, if you've been a Christian for any time you have heard plenty of sermon's on the tongue.  And he did speak about some of the things I expected, but then he talked about the tongue being more of a revolving door.  Yes, things come out of it and we must be careful what does.  But he also just so happened to mention that the tongue also needs to be used to speak truth back to ourselves.  That we need to encourage ourselves in the Lord and in His promises, the same thing my friends and I had just been discussing a couple of hours earlier!!It was neat to see how the Lord allowed him to share that that night.  What a blessing!!    And then, to make things even more interesting.....as Pastor was preaching there were a couple of real lightning bolts outside from a quick storm that came up.  So, if that jolt from His Word wasn't enough, He sent a real one to confirm it even more!!  What an amazing God I serve!!
Lord, help me to remember these blessings when times of doubt and fear rise up in my mind.  I know I've prayed this before.  But I will keep praying it for myself and my friends as much as I need to!  Help me not to doubt, but to trust You.  Help me to remember what You have already done.  Help me to remember what You have already been trying to teach me.  Help me to remember to speak words of encouragement and truth to myself in those times of doubt.  Thank you for those bolts and jolts to help us remember!
And thank you for this this morning and the verse from Malachi 3:10 that You brought to mind to once again help me to remember to trust You.  "...and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."

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