I Often Repeat Repeat

Jack Prelutsky is a poet who writes some interesting, crazy, kooky kids poems. I found one of his books several years ago. The title of the book is A Pizza the Size of the Sun. I read most of the poems in this book to my students at the beginning of the year. They are something I use to help them get their coats and bookbags quietly before we line up to go home. Anyway, one of the poems in this book starts out: "I often repeat repeat myself, I often repeat repeat". I'm not sure how the rest of it goes and can't even think right now what it is even about. The reason it came to mind is because as I was getting ready for bed just now, that is what I found myself doing. My mom must have asked me, at least just now, three times what tomorrow was and if I had to go to school. I just took Bella out potty, came in and gave Bella her breath treat, then got mom's water and medicine that she has to take and gave it to her. As she was watching the 10 o'clock news she asked me, "What is tomorrow?" I told her, "It's Tuesday, Ma". "Oh, do you have school tomorrow?" "You know I always do." "Oh, ok." Bella finished her treat and came to get in bed with my mom. I pray with her every night lately because many to most nights she complains about these black things coming at her. She sometimes calls me back in the room to turn on the light because she doesn't know why these black things keep bothering her. So, at the suggestion of a couple of friends I have started praying with her before she goes to bed. It reminds me of what she used to do with me when I was a little girl, now the tables are turned. After I prayed, she asked, "What is tomorrow?" "It's Tuesday, Ma." "Do you have school?" "Of course" "Ok, goodnight. Love you, sleep tight." " Love you, too, you sleep well too." I went and made sure everything was locked up, turned out the lights, and got washed up. As I come out of the bathroom to go to bed she said, "Goodnight, tomorrow is Tuesday right?" "Yes, Ma." "Ok, love you." "Love you, too." This is just one example, but it is what I deal with each day now. I know maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal, but when that's your every day, it can be difficult. Sometimes I feel frustrated by the constant asking, then I feel bad that I feel frustrated, so it's a never ending cycle. The only thing that makes it tougher is that not only do I deal with it at home, but also in school this year. I actually have my students repeat every direction I give to make sure they are listening and paying attention. Even then I still all too often have the students ask what page we are on, or what they are supposed to do. One day, a while ago, I was teaching a new concept in Arithmetic and went through it a few times, one of my boys raised his hand and said, "I don't know if you already went over this or not, but I don't get how to do these problems." I told him I just finished going over those and I wasn't going to repeat it again. He was going to have to figure it out or take it home to get help. Maybe that seems cruel, but it wasn't the beginning of the year, and I have been teaching them to listen carefully the first time! It's been a tough go of it. I get up in the morning and often repeat myself in telling what day it is, telling what may be going on that day, or a number of other things. Then I go to school and often repeat myself with page numbers, well, actually I don't repeat page numbers, and haven't let my students repeat them either so each student learns to listen the first time. I often repeat instructions and information. Again, if truth be told, I don't repeat instructions much either, except just in teaching something better. Then, I come home and often repeat myself with the day again and whether or not mom needs to go to church later, or how my day was, or if all my kids were in school. Then, many times the night routine happens again. So between school and home it's a little tough, especially when this is about the only conversation I get during the day. This is probably why I talk too much! :) I feel badly about talking so much, but sometimes I just need regular conversation. I don't like to call people because I feel that I am going to bother them, so, I don't have a boyfriend, a husband, or even a brother or sister to call, so I thrive on conversation during the day at school because nights are quiet. Blogging has definitely been a help, too. But I am also learning that the Lord is my everything, and He is always there for me.
Lord, thank you for the peace of knowing that you are always there! I definitely could not do this without you. Even those evenings and days of constant repeating, you know what I'm feeling and you offer comfort and hope. Also, thank you for your grace and mercy when I foolishly repeat things that I know don't please you. Thanks for loving me and bringing me back to you.