My Friend

I don't even know how to begin this.  I'm sitting here still in some form of shock and with swollen eyes and a bit of a headache.  I was so excited to get a snow day today because I had so many amazing blessings that recently happened that I wanted to blog about.  But, as I got on my computer to get ready to blog, I stopped by Facebook first.  I did a couple of things on there, and then saw a post from a friend that asked everyone to please pray for my friend Angie.  It seemed very urgent, so I went to the Lord right away asking Him to please take care of my friend.  I couldn't imagine what could have happened, then I saw another post that said she wasn't breathing, they were trying to resuscitate and the ambulance was on the way.  I cried and offered up more prayer and again asked the Lord to be with her and take care of her.  I put up my own post because the more prayers we could get out for her the better.  I love this woman, and needed for her to be OK.  Not long after my post, my friend Amy called me and told me news that was exactly what I did not want to hear.  She told me that my dear friend had passed away.  I didn't want to believe her, and still I sit here and don't want to believe it!  I'm still hoping for some strange mistake or dream sequence to end, but sadly that's not the case.  My heart is so broken right now, I haven't really stopped crying since I heard the news, and I'm sure that is the case for most of us who knew and loved her.  Angie and I became friends when I had her daughter Raycheal in my class, I can't seem to remember exactly, but I think that was about 13 or so years ago.  Through those about 13 years I was blessed to have had the privilege of teaching all five of her amazing children!
To know Angie is to love her, and I just appreciated her spirit, her support, her love for her kids, but more than that her desire to do right by them, by constantly teaching them to do right.  She was someone I always knew would support me as a teacher.  She and her husband Tim would work with me to help their children along.  She would always say, "Let me know if they ever act up or give you a problem."  I would just laugh at her and tell her, those were the kids whose parents I rarely had to call, because the kids always knew.  The one time I did have to call her, that child was in tears even before I had finished dialing her number so he could tell her what happened, because he knew he had disobeyed and disappointed her, but also knew he was going to be in big trouble when he got home...not the "big trouble" that some parents say.  She meant business and he knew that.  It wasn't even terribly a huge deal, but it was disobedience and we both knew it was important to address it.  She thanked me for caring enough to call her and tell her, and I thanked her for caring enough to take care of the situation.  I never had any other problems with him.  Every time I had one of her children, I felt so blessed, and I'm not just saying that!  They were joys to have in class.  With each year that we knew each other our bond grew stronger.  She's just such an amazing woman, you can't help but to be drawn to her.
She had such a heart for people, and apart from her family she also had so much love for the students at ECA.  I think that was part of the bond that brought us together.  That, as well as our immense love for all things purple, and our shared likeness for bling!!!  We were like the purple bling twins!!  We even have some  twin clothing because we had a similar love for certain fashion.  I can't imagine not being with, laughing with, sharing with, and getting hugs from my purple bling twin!!  My classroom is even an amazing purple color because Angie and another friend Erin highly recommended that color when my room was going to be repainted.
She started helping out at the school, and became our school librarian.  I loved this because I knew at least every Monday, I would pretty much be guaranteed to see her.  She would often be there other times, too, and I know the kids at school appreciated having her around.  She was a mother to all the kids at school.  She just truly loved them and wanted the best for them, and wanted them to grow and serve the Lord.  She was there to listen, hug, encourage, offer Godly advice, lovingly rebuke, or any thing else that was necessary.   No one was a stranger to her, and she would make everyone feel so special.
I was so excited this year, because she was at school more, which just always made me so happy!  Last year she had been going to hairdressing school and couldn't be there as much, which I didn't like.  Just her presence brought me pure joy!  Then part way through the school year, I found out she would be there even more, sadly it was because our beloved friend Sarah had to take a reprieve due to her cancer diagnosis, so it was a sad loss to not be able to have Sarah there for a while, but sweet to be able to see Angie each day.  Angie just stepped right in to take her place.  Sarah was such a blessing and worked hard to bring our lunchroom up a few notches, and got her license to change our lunchroom around.  Well, if she was going to take Sarah's place she wanted to make sure to do it right, so she also went to take her food prep test and get licensed.  She was always willing to do what she could and to help.  She helped so much with the booster club, organized bake sales, worked hard at many of the school functions in one capacity or another.  This was a woman full of life and love.  I so enjoyed getting my daily hugs each day!
So, it should be no surprise that my heart is truly broken and I'm feeling a little lost and shocked and numb, as I heard the awful news earlier today that my sweet friend Angie had passed away.  I have cried so much today, that now as I am writing this my eyes hurt and are a little swollen, my head hurts from all the tears, and my heart hurts because my amazing friend that I love with all my heart took a big chunk of it to heaven with her.  I still can't believe it, and don't want to.  I don't know how I'll walk into that school everyday, and not see her there to give me a hug, some encouragement, or just to listen and care.  I don't know how all these sweet kids are going to be in school knowing they don't have Mama Larson to check on them, care for them, love them, keep them in check, and encourage them.  I don't know what her kids will do without their mom who was such a loving, caring, nurturing mom who would do anything for them.  I don't know how her husband will go through each day not having her by his side.  I don't know how so many friends will get through this time of truly missing a one-of-a-kind amazing woman!  But I do know that with all of these unknowns, I still have to trust and believe.  I trust Him because He has shown himself and his love to me over and over, and I believe He will do what he promises!  And today when I was outside shoveling the driveway, I was asking what are her poor kids supposed to do, how are they supposed to finish school and carry on.  Right after I was crying out and asking that, I felt two big gusts of wind push me forward and I thought I was going to fall forward...they were pretty strong.  And I knew the answer, I felt from the Lord and from my sweet friend Angie, was to just encourage them as well as each other, to go forward!  It's not going to be easy, but we have to go forward...that's what she would want.  She started this great legacy, we have to go forward and keep it going, or else everything that she did, all the lives she tried to touch, all those she counseled and made feel special will be in vain.  We now have to pick up where she left off, though none of us will ever be able to fill those shoes!  But with the things she taught us through her beautiful, too short life, we have to now pick up the slack and carry on, and go forward.
Lord, I don't know how I'm going to go forward, when I feel so stuck and numb right here.  But I know my friend Angie would want that for me and for everyone else she touched with her life.  Help us to trust you, help us to lean on you! Help us to check up on each other, to help each other, hug each other, love one another, encourage one another, lovingly rebuke one another, and whatever else we need to do for one another.  And Lord, help us to help her family, help us to love on them as they will need that!  Please give them your peace, and help us to always hold them up in prayer before you as she did so faithfully!  Please allow me to go forward with the things this amazing friend taught me, and keep her spark and spirit alive!  Help us to be there for others and her family as she was always there for each of us!  It's now our time to carry the torch and go forward!
Angie, I will miss you everyday of my life!  I can't imagine my life without you, it will feel so incomplete, but as I have told you before, I'm so thankful for you and for what you mean to me.  I'm so thankful to have known you and been blessed to call you my dear, very dear friend!  I got your message and we will go forward and encourage others as well as your family to go forward and be strong for you!  I love you so much my dear friend!  So looking forward to seeing you again...and boy do I hope it's soon!  Here's the hug I never got to give you on this snow day! (((HUG)))