Challenges

Just writing this post right now is a challenge for me. I have been wanting to write a new post for a while now, but it has been a challenge to know what to write. There were and are so many things running through my head that I wanted to write about, but just wasn't sure what to share or how to share it or how much to share. I wanted to do a post on "being real". Lately that has been something that has come up a few times in conversations with others, or in other blogs I've read. There is a real need for people to be more "real". Sometimes part of my challenge in sharing my challenges is I am a little afraid at times to be real for fear of "spiritual reprimand". Those who are more "spiritual" instead of helping me through the challenge by offering up prayer, just listening quietly, or just sharing and showing that they understand my hurt, will in a sense reprimand me for not being as spiritually strong and great as they are. Then I started thinking about challenges, hence the title. :)Sometimes people who are going through challenges just want people to let them vent, understand their hurt, and if they can't understand the hurt or relate to it, say that. Tell the person you can't understand what they are going through and you are sorry that they have to go through it. I guess what I'm saying is, sometimes it's harder and more hurtful to just hear how wrong we are being for hurting, or how we must not be trusting the Lord or His will for us, or not accepting His will for us, almost as if we should be ashamed. That's not right, neither is it fair. People go through real hurt and need someone who can be real with them. I mean look at David, look at some of his Psalms, he talks about his soul being disquieted within him. And yes, of course he talks about his hope being in God. But he has to vent a little first, get it out, share it, then he can help to remind himself of that. If we can't vent and feel free to hurt then how can we remind ourselves of God's goodness to us, how can we remind ourselves to hope in God. As I have mentioned in a former post, don't be like Job's friends, who were miserable comforters. There are actually a couple of instances in just the past week to explain what I am talking about. One example is from another blog that I read. One of the comments under the latest post was about a single girl who had to be maid of honor in her younger sister's wedding after her wedding had just been cancelled. She mentioned how her friends understood how painful this was for her. They would tell her how the situation was awful for her... they didn't just tell her to get over it and be happy for her sister, or tell her that she needed to deal with it because that was obviously the Lord's plan for her. No, they helped her by acknowledging her pain. She said that that was what helped her to be able to feel strong enough to genuinely feel happy for her sister. She didn't feel as if she had to pretend it didn't hurt. They allowed her to hurt, and because of that to be able to celebrate with her sister. That is more spiritually helpful than all the right "spiritual/Christian" things to say. The other example is a sad one. A girl I know from college was requesting prayer yesterday for her 5 year old daughter who had contracted Ecoli earlier in the week. I just saw it yesterday. Well, the comments were so sweet, just praying for this family. Yesterday afternoon, the mom posted that her little girl was in the arms of Jesus. This broke my heart as I'm sure it does for anyone reading this. I just had to read what people were commenting to them. It was amazing because, so many said, I can't begin to understand how you are feeling, but know I'm praying for you. Or just simply, I'm praying for you and your family, or my heart is breaking for you, or I'm praying for you, I have a little one in the arms of Jesus too. I'm sure these comments probably meant so much to her. Those type of comments will do more to encourage and help her through this challenge than anything else. I guess all I am asking is that we acknowledge someone's pain or hurt or challenge, feel for them, let them know we feel for them, and will bear their burden with them, without judging and without "spiritual reprimands". Show loving kindness rather than godly rightness.
Wednesday was a good day for me, I was able to share some of my challenges with a dear lady who is always so willing to listen and doesn't make me feel bad for hurting. We talked about that and how that was so needed, especially in Christian circles. The Bible talks about bearing one another's burdens, but how can we do that if we don't allow people to share those burdens. Then I got to spend time with a really great friend. She needed to talk to me, and share some challenges, and I needed to talk to her and share some of mine. We were both able to encourage one another. What a blessing! So thankful for friendships like that! Then that night we went to a Kids Krusade which is VBS. One of my former students wrote up the whole theme and parts and everything. It was based on Clue. The setup in the fellowship hall was amazing, different games and things for the kids to find and do. Secret passageways were built into the set, it was awesome! The Bible lesson was on Lazarus, and the key word for the night that we went was patience. Mary and Martha had to be patient. The Lord didn't come right away when He heard Lazarus was sick. Even though Lazarus died before the Lord got there, Jesus performed a wonderful miracle for them! Then my former student got up to share just a little more, about trusting God even when we don't understand. Having patience to wait for the good even though it's very hard. Again, I was truly blessed. When faced with challenges, I/we know the Lord is in control, we know He has a plan that may not be our plan, we may not like it much, and we may really struggle, but we can come to that on our own. So long as we can be real and share our real hurts and real challenges with real people who will listen and not judge and allow us to be able to hurt and to celebrate in our own way and time.
Lord, I hope I haven't been too real, or said something that wouldn't please you. I felt as if you allowed me the freedom to finally get this out to share. Whether people read it or not, and whether they agree or not, I feel this is something important to understand. There are challenges in life, it's not easy. You never promised it would be. So when I falter and fail, and struggle, help me to find the right people who will help encourage me in you and allow me to feel my hurt, hurt with me, pray with me, and celebrate with me as we see you work through the challenge. Help me through these challenges I have been going through, I can only conquer through you and your name. Then, Lord, I pray for other friends I know who are going through some pretty strong challenges, help them to see you. Be that ever present help in their time of trouble. God, thank you for being so good even when I'm not. (Just being real) Love you, Lord!

Hard to Understand

There are some things in life that are just hard to understand. Some things that just make you wonder... One of those things that has recently been hard for myself and many other people I know to understand is the terrible, evil murder and dismembering of an innocent 8 year old boy. He was innocently on his way home from day camp. His parents didn't want him to walk alone for safety reasons, but he convinced them that he was old enough to do so. Plus, they lived in a Jewish community, so I'm sure he figured he could just ask someone if he got lost. So even though his parents went over the route with him to be sure he safely knew his way home, that is just what happened. He got lost, was going in the wrong direction. He decided to ask a man from his community to help him find his way home. This man told him he would help him after he went in and paid a bill. When he came out he took the boy in his car with him, but sadly, the boy never made it home. This man, police determined from scratches struggled with the boy, killed him, and cut his body up in pieces and stuffed the pieces in some luggage and put it in a dumpster. This story has made me so sad, and it's one of those things that I really just find hard to understand. What do you say to those poor parents? What do we say to those around us who may not understand this tragedy? We need to be careful how we respond, sometimes we offer up a quick, easy, "Christian" response such as, "Well, this must have been the Lord's will and we just have to accept it and trust Him." I think we would all agree that that would be a callous, cruel thing to say to them during this time. There are times like these where there really are no words, and sometimes it's just best to pray for them and just show them that you care about their hurt. That's what they need more than anything, not just easy words for you to say, because you cannot understand what they are feeling. Sometimes words like that can cause more hurt and pain than help.

It's hard to understand a senseless death. It's hard to understand the death of a family member who was so loved and needed by the family. Someone who was the stabilizing force for that family, that seems taken away too soon. It's hard to understand how someone who works so hard and goes above and beyond in all that they do losing a job. People who have families to support and try to find a job, but are unable to, when there are some that don't try. It's hard to understand people who take the lives of little children, but seem to get away with it. It's hard to understand the terrible diseases that some people get that threaten their well-being, threaten their life and limb. It's hard to understand someone who loves his/her country so much that they are willing to fight for it, only to lose limbs or life to people with so much hatred in their hearts. It's hard to understand the devastation some countries and some states have to deal with. The list could go on and on. But the thing to remember if we ever have the opportunity to talk to people who are dealing with these things or are affected by these things, don't be a "miserable comforter" as Job's friends were through part of his suffering times. Sometimes just saying nothing, but showing you care can mean more than any quick, easy words. Pray and seek the Lord for them, that is always a very welcome help.
Lord, it is hard to understand certain things that happen in this life. We as Christians know that you are in control and you will help us through, but help us to be careful not to offer up vain, easy, quick words to make the person "feel better". Help us to remember sometimes it's better to just encourage through prayer and care. Thank you for those you have provided to pray and care for us in our times of need. Help us not to forget our times of need, remembering how we feel, and what we need to help us, and help us to be that for someone else. Help us to trust you more with so many of these things that we just find hard to understand. And Lord, please be with the family of this little boy who died so senselessly, in such a tragic and awful way. Please comfort them and give them your peace, and if they don't know you, please bring them to a saving knowledge of you.

Crazy times!

Early Tuesday morning, two o'clock to be exact, I jerked awake in bed...what on earth could have caused me to be up at that time? I lay still for a second trying to figure it out. As my tired mind finally caught up with my body, I realized what I had figured would probably happen that night, actually was happening. Bella was clamoring to get out of my mom's hot room and come into mine, where it is a little cooler because I at least have a fan turned right on me. Does this little girl not understand that I don't care how small she is, the way I like to spread out while I sleep... there is just not enough room for the both of us?! Well......I made room. We snuggled up together and I got back to sleep...only to be abruptly woken up again....this time to Bella's loud barking! What in the world?!? Are you kidding me?? All I wanted was a good night's sleep so I could get up early and get to the school to help out like I was supposed to. What is she doing? This was one of those "someone or something is making noise in the house or outside of the house" barks. So now my heart is pounding in my chest as I put Bella down and open my door so we can go see what she is barking at. Seeing as I had nothing in my hand to hurt anyone or anything with, I don't know what I would have done if there was someone or something in the house. Well, as Bella tore down the hallway barking I was a little nervous. She tore into the kitchen, I slowly followed her...and found........her drinking like there's no tomorrow!! She just ran to her water bowl and was guzzling that water. I checked rooms and doors...nothing, she was fine now. Is that the only reason she barked like a wild woman, to get me to let her out to get something to drink?? Wow, I just don't know! I left her in her excited drinking state and headed back to bed, this was the second time she woke me up and it was definitely way too early to be up. I went back to my room, she came back to my room, but this time just stayed on the floor by my bed. As I got back into bed, and prayed that I could somehow get back to sleep for at least a couple more hours, I hear more noise. Listening, I realized it was my mom's TV, and then I hear her getting out of bed to go to the restroom. Ok, that's ok, she's just going to go to the restroom and then get back in bed, it's fine. I settle into the pillow and try to get back to sleep, when I hear her go back to her room, and hear her drawers opening and closing, what is even going on this morning, am I losing it? She was laughing at the loud TV and getting dressed for the day. Are you even kidding me?? It's 4 a.m.!!!!! I lay back in bed with no sleep coming to me, so I read. A little after 5 I realized I was outnumbered and thought well, if I can't beat them, join them. So I took Bella out to go potty and then thought maybe then mom and Bella will have settled down and maybe I can get a quick nap. Nope, not so my friends, that was asking too much on a crazy morning like this! When Bella and I got back into the house, mom was at the breakfast table ready to eat...oh yay!! So, guess what I did.......? Well, had breakfast with her...duh. I went off to school, not thinking I would be able to make it, but actually made it through the whole day, plus a couple of extra hours. Thank you, Lord!

....hahahaha...you thought I was done didn't you?? Oh no, I said "times" for a reason. Early Wednesday morning, 3:30 this time, I woke up to scratching on my door again, my darling diva Bella was baaaaaccckkk! This time I was wise to her and told her to go get some water before she came in my room. That taken care of, we got into bed, thankfully no one woke up until almost 7 that morning, phew!! I was going to school that day too, but didn't have to get there until noon, much better! Better than the 6:30 that I left the house the day before, just to get out of there. When Bella and I came back in from potty time mom was getting dressed, but into something that she would normally wear on a Sunday morning. She asked me if what she had on was ok. I asked her why she was wearing it. Well, she knew it was a church day, but was just a bit confused that it wasn't in the morning, but at night. I convinced her to get comfy for the day. She did. I started breakfast and she came out in her "Sunday-go-to-meeting" outfit. I told her church wasn't until that night. She went back into the room and got comfy again. When breakfast was finished and I was washing the dishes, she came back out in her "Sunday" outfit with her purse this time and went to the living room window to see if the neighbor was on her way down to pick her up for church, then became very concerned because her car wasn't even down at her house....and people wonder why I'm a little...ok, many times ALOT off!! :o) I told her again that she wasn't going anywhere until that night. I told her she had approximately 8 hours before she needed to go anywhere. So, I figured she went back to get comfy clothes on again, relieved that she could be comfy. I got myself ready to go, took Bella out one more time before leaving for school. When Bella and I got back in, she was on the edge of the bed in her "Sunday" outfit, asking if that was ok to wear. Then also asking if the neighbor was coming to pick her up. At that point all I could do was mutter and sigh a "yeeeeesss". I kissed her goodbye and went off to school. She had to figure it out eventually right?.....ummm, right? At the end of the day, I became a little concerned because I hadn't checked on her that day. So, I called on my way home...and called again...and again...and again...and again... Well you get the picture. She wasn't answering the phone. I knew it, she looked out the window that morning, didn't see the neighbor's car in the driveway, walked down the street to check for sure, then tried walking to church and got lost on the way, and I am going to need to put out a missing person's bulletin when I get home. Then I called that "one more time" and she answered and was just fine. She was just outside sitting with Bella for a little while...how silly of me!! When I got home wouldn't you know she was dressed in her comfy outfit and was ready to go to church, not even remembering all the craziness from the morning. When I got home from church, I got in the house just in time before a big flash of lightning. Mom just laughed at me coming in the house so fast. She came downstairs with me so she didn't have to stay upstairs dealing with the storm all by herself. We watched America's Got Talent, had some great laughs and just enjoyed one another...ahhhh. Craziness diverted for a little while. Thank you, Lord.
(Don't worry, this time I am done.) :)

His way, His time...

There are times...many times in life when we want things done our way and in our time. I am definitely one of those people. I definitely like things done my way. I also like to have things done in my time, I struggle walking behind slow people, it makes me a little crazy. I struggle driving behind cars that aren't even going the speed limit! Don't they know I have someplace to be! :) But hold on, wait, before you judge me, let's think about this...when we go to Subway, don't we want the grinder done OUR way? We get to Starbucks, don't we want the drink made OUR way? We go to a restaurant and if the steak or meal isn't fixed OUR way, don't we send it back for them to fix it...and maybe possibly get at least a free dessert or something out of it? We get to that drive-thru and don't we expect that they will get the order the way WE wanted? Many things in life we like to have go OUR way. And before you are too quick to judge me about my impatience, let's think about this too. Most all of us have microwaves, why? So we can fix things quicker, right? Even waiting for that sometimes seems to take too long. Commercials come on all the time about new things for the kitchen that help make it easier and faster to fix meals. We don't like being put on hold on the phone. We get upset if our computer doesn't get to the page the second we put in the information, we're always looking for faster service. So now that things are put into perspective, we all struggle with wanting things done in our way and our time. We as Christians know that that is not the way the Lord works. He does things in His way..."His thoughts are not our thoughts, His ways are not our ways." He does things in His time..."a thousand years is but a day." This is difficult for finite, human beings....well at least for this one. Prime example...this morning on the way into church I prayed and asked the Lord specifically for some things. I asked Him to help me not to have to deal with certain things or think about certain things, BUT....I guess that wasn't His plan for my morning. Things were brought up this morning that I did have to deal with and think about a couple times over.....that wasn't what I had asked, that wasn't MY way. Since it wasn't my way, it bothered me for most of the morning. But after church one of the things that I did ask for happened. How funny, the Lord did give me what I asked for, but in His time, not mine! Just a hug, just some kind words, just some caring thoughts, someone willing to just let you know they care...care about what you may be going through or feeling, someone willing to stand up for you and help you. Just one of these things can make all the difference. But let me tell you, after that prayer this morning that wasn't answered in my way or my time, God showed me in His way and His time from different people and in ways that I couldn't even imagine. There were about 5 or 6 people today that answered that prayer for me, but it didn't come until His time. One came after church in the morning, the others came at church that night and after church. What a neat blessing to be able to talk to people who really care, who are willing to let me share and just be there for me. I was so overwhelmed to see how He answered in so many ways. I know I will falter with His way and His time again and again........and probably again, that's human, that's REAL, but by His grace, in His way and in His timing, He will give me what I need when I need it!
Lord, I struggled this morning when you didn't seem to hear what I was asking you to help me avoid. But thank you, for in a much bigger and better way, and in YOUR timing showing me more love and support than I even asked for. Thank you for people to share things with, who make me realize it's ok to be real, but who also help me and encourage me that I can be better because of you! Help me remember Your way and Your timing is always best, not easiest, but best!

Screaming on the Inside

Don't be deceived, even though someone is smiling, and laughing, it doesn't mean that they are not screaming on the inside. Screaming and hoping someone will see beyond the smile and the laughter, see beyond the front that they put up to make everything look ok. Sometimes those people are just hoping someone will hear them screaming on the inside and comfort them. Not making them feel guilty for hurting, not making it seem like a much smaller matter, not playing it down, not trying to act like they understand, not trying to preach at them about why they shouldn't feel this way, not just dismissing the hurt, not just stating that everything is going to be ok, just trust, don't feel sorry for yourself, you can rise above, there is always someone worse off than you.... but just comforting. Sometimes someone just needs a hug, or someone to say, "I can't imagine how you feel, it must be rough, these are my experiences with something similar, and I struggled... I struggled alot, but this is what I learned through the struggle." Sometimes someone just wants someone to talk to, someone who will take the TIME and have the care and concern to listen, and listen with a kind, caring ear, not judging. Sometimes someone just wants to know they are important enough to someone to take a little extra time to listen, otherwise they would rather the person not really bother to ask if they can't be bothered to really take the time to know. Sometimes someone just needs someone to lift them up in prayer. Sometimes someone just needs someone to at least try to put themselves in their shoes to try to understand what they are going through, when someone cares enough to do that, it makes it much easier to hear what things the Lord may be giving them to share with the one who is hurting. Sometimes someone just needs to be refreshed. That someone would be more than willing to do that for others, and maybe many times does. Don't miss the opportunity to do the same because of being too busy, too spiritual, or too quick to judge. Sometimes somone just needs to know they are not alone, not that they don't know that the Lord is always there, but having someone here on earth to be there and care as well. Sometimes those who are screaming on the inside are hesitant to share because of certain responses they got before that were hurtful. Sometimes someone just needs to hear that they are not unspiritual for being down, for hurting, or for voicing their doubts, fears, and disappointments, let them....and then just show you care. Sometimes someone just needs that!
Lord, help each of us to be aware of those who are screaming on the inside and just need someone to care....someone to be real (not perfect), and to take the time to listen, and not judge, but to really see someone who may be really hurting and just be there to help and encourage.

Happy Father's Day

I was encouraged and inspired by my friend and amazing fellow blogger, Patricia, to write this post. After I read her blog called "My Daddy's Dash", I thought that I would like to share some thoughts about my amazing pappy! "The Dash" is a poem by Linda Ellis, it talks about the dash between dates of people's life and death, the dash represents what they did and who they were in between those dates. There is more to it, you really need to see the poem to really get it. It's a great poem. You can go to thedashmovie.com to see it. So, I want to honor my dad by sharing some of who he was. Some may have heard or may already know some of these things, but there may be some things you haven't heard, or there may be some of you that don't know any of this, so let me share about those years in between -the dash for him.

My dad along with his twin sister, Zora were the youngest of twelve children. He had an interesting childhood as he lost his mother when he was just two years old and his father when he was twelve. He would often tell the story of how his dad would make them go find a switch from a tree in the yard and each time they were spanked, after each hit they had to say, "Thank you, papa, a thousand times". He also lost his twin sister when they were twelve. She had tonsillitis- having that back in the 40's and down south, she ended up with an infection which took her life. He was raised by his older sisters.

He enjoyed sports as a boy, one of his favorites being baseball. I didn't find out until his funeral from an old friend of his that he was really good at baseball. This friend said he could have been a professional baseball player, but that was difficult for him down south in the 50's. As he got older he loved bowling and we have many trophies around the house to prove it!

He served in the United States Army, and was stationed in Germany. He taught me the few German words he learned, (I'm sure I'm not going to spell them correctly, sorry), such as ein, zwi, dri, fia, ich liebedich, wegates, auf wiedersane. We actually had a whole routine that we would do before I went to bed at night. He would say goodnight, I would repeat, ein, zwi, dri, fea, I would repeat, ich liebedich, repeat, vegates, repeat, auf wiedersane, repeat, goodnight, repeat, I love you, repeat. Then it was finally off to bed. That is a fun memory for me. He would also call me his Pooky-Pooky Poo. :)


He was one of the hardest workers I know. He was a cook at Cigna Insurance Company for 30 years. He never missed a day in all of that time. People at work loved his soups and his macaroni and cheese. Sadly, I wasn't a big soup person when I was younger, and I don't think I ever tasted his macaroni and cheese. Of course he wouldn't cook much at home since that's what he was doing all day. Plus mom was a home daycare provider, so since she was home she would fix dinner. I did get to experience his cooking once in a while, when mom was at ladies' seminars and things. He liked to use spices and do things that were a little different, but were always good. I remember one morning when mom was away, he cut glazed doughnuts in half put them in a pan and cut small pieces of cheese to go on the doughnut halves, it was so good! He was the kind of man who retired, then went back to work for awhile again.

He was the strongest man I knew. I loved to have him show off his muscles to my friends. Then I also loved to have him show how he could swing me on one arm. I would just hold on to that big muscle and he would swing me back and forth. Even though he was so strong, killing my bugs for me and making me always feel safe, there were a couple of things that were strong fears for him. My dad did not like to drive over bridges with water underneath, he wouldn't drive if we were going some distance because he did not want to have to drive over bridges. He didn't like water, even though he was on a ship in the service. His other big fear was.......cats! Yes, you heard right, he did NOT like cats at all! (He didn't care for dogs either, not an animal person). I'll never forget the story my uncles told of my dad being in a car when he was younger down south, the car had windows that didn't roll all the way down in the back. Somehow, I don't remember exactly how, but a cat got in that car. They said that my dad scrambled out of that half open window faster than they could have ever imagined! I remember one day here we had a stray cat that came on our back porch. I have always loved animals, so I begged my mom to feed it, but she told me I better not even think about feeding it, because my dad didn't like them and would not be happy(she didn't like them either). So, sadly I didn't get to feed it, but it just stayed on the porch. When dad got home from work he was busy reading something. I came to the door and said, "Dad, look we have a visitor." He looked up saw the cute, sweet, little kitten, then stepped backward down 3 steps in one leap, and ran around to the front of the house and came in that door. He banged on the back door to try to get it to leave. Once it did, he put pepper all over the back porch to make sure it didn't come back...it never did.

He was a strong man, but was also very stubborn. He didn't want to have anything to do with church. My mom was saved and started taking me to church with her, he wasn't a fan of that. There were some pretty rough moments during those times. But mom prayed faithfully every day for twelve years for him to be saved. One day when we were having a dedication service for our new church building he came and was saved. What a blessing! After that point, he was in church every time the doors were opened. He would greet people when they came in, give them that beautiful smile and a bulletin. He was on the deacon board, and was an usher, and helped count the money. He worked as hard and faithfully at church as he did at his job.

He had many friends, made people laugh, and always looked and acted younger than his years. He loved food, especially fish, black eyed peas, and collard greens. He loved sucking on the neckbones! Leukemia and diabetes changed those things in my dad, sadly. He wasn't able to be that same strong man that I always knew growing up, but he always kept up an amazing sense of humor and kept himself and others laughing, and what a great laugh it was by the way. He loved Red Sox baseball, loved watching basketball with me, and other sports as well. But he definitely loved watching bowling on TV. Sometimes Sunday dinners would be interrupted or a little shorter as he had to finish watching his bowling. There are so many things that I could say and share, but I think you get the idea of who he was. So many memories and so much life in that little dash, but it didn't seem enough for me. My heart feels like he was taken too soon, but I know that this was the life and those were the years the Lord had for him. I am just so thankful for those years that we had together, all the memories in that dash.
Lord, thank you for my wonderful, amazing, pappy. I love him and miss him so much. This was a tough day without him, but thank you for this opportunity to share some of the memories of his life. Please give him a hug for me, tell him his "Little Buddy Jr." says Happy Father's Day, and that she loves him very much! Tell him I can't wait to see him again soon! Thank you, Lord for being my Heavenly Father who loves me more than even my pappy did. Love you, Lord. Happy Father's Day!

Storms

Storms have been on my mind quite a bit! Probably because there have been so many storms lately, not only weather-related ones(of which there have been many), but also personal ones for myself and others. As I've already relayed in previous posts, I am not a fan of storms. The lightning makes me jump and freaks me out, that is some powerful stuff. It usually makes me close my eyes and crouch down, so you can only imagine how well that works while I'm driving. You really think that's going to change just because I'm driving?? Really? Then, you don't know me well! It definitely happens. Then thunder really does me in. Hey, I don't even do balloons popping ok? Not a fan of parties where balloons are involved. Yup, that's me, I can't even go to see fireworks...yea, not pretty at all! Just a month or two ago I went to a Civil War reenactment, it was really great...until they started fighting, using those big cannons. Trying to keep my ears plugged even though my arms were getting super tired, while trying to keep from making the sounds of fear that kept trying and succeeding in escaping from my mouth was rough. Ok, so now that you have a little better understanding of how I feel about storms, maybe you will see why I just don't like them at all. We had some pretty bad storms last night, the lightning was crazy. Down into the basement I went, my safe haven. Last week there were some awful storms that came through and produced some awful tornadoes in Massachusetts, just a little over the border from Connecticut and just about 20 minutes from me. That definitely put things into perspective. It wasn't one of those "over there" storms, it was right here. Quite close to home. There were three tornadoes that touched down, one was EF3, the other two were EF1. I know there have been much worse, even just recently, but we are not used to that here. Channel 3 gave us a chance to help out those in need by having places set up to drop off cash or checks for the American Red Cross to use in helping these people rebuild. That day our state raised over $41, 000 in aid for our neighbors to the north. What a blessing to be able to help! There have been several news stories showing the devastation of the storm. Stories such as a mom who threw her 15 year old daughter in the bathtub and jumped on top of her only to lose her life while saving her daughters. This story and many others broke my heart, but there were several people confidently saying we are going to rebuild, we will make it through this. To see their hope and strength was so encouraging. There have been other tornadoes recently in other parts of the country. There have even been some storms lately that have brought lots of rain to some areas and many places have been flooded, many people have lost homes in that way as well. Of course many people are just devastated because of losing so much, discouraged, and not knowing what to do, but they are willing to keep trying and going on. Even now as I sit here we are getting more Severe Thunderstorm warnings, so yup, you guessed it, I'm down in the basement, my safe place. Through these storms there have also been many stories of people rallying to help those in need. So many selfless people willing to help, even in just the smallest way. I heard a story of one lady who drove around with water bottles and donuts in the back of her minivan to bring to those who were out working, clearing away debris. She just wanted to do something to help.
All these storms have made me think of so many storms that I have heard going on in people's lives including my own...spiritual storms and personal storms. There have been so many people hurting because of storms of sickness, whether it's that person or someone they know and love. Many times it has been storms of job loss, or insecurity about what is going on with a job. Many storms of not being sure of the future, what will happen with a loved one, what will happen with people themselves and things going on in their lives, what will happen with their children. So many different things that have caused storms for people. Some of these same things have been some major storms in my life, and they have been big. I'm sitting in the dark now writing this because this big storm has cut off our electricity. Sometimes when storms are big like this in our lives we don't see how we are going to get through the darkness, sometimes it seems to last forever......but it doesn't. It might last longer than we might like(that's usually the case for me, weather-related or personal). But the storms do come to an end, there is always a brightness on the other side, we might have to look around for that side, but we will find it sooner or later. Storms can do lots of damage in our lives, our minds, but if we seek the Lord and trust Him, He will carry us through to the other side. Many times we forget to trust Him or even praise Him in the storm, but He still graciously brings us to the other side. Even today, a friend of mine wrote in her status on facebook that a storm that they had where she was last night actually scared her because she could hear all the hail hitting hard against the windows, but she mentioned how glad she is that "God is greater than anything life throws at us". Then she added that it was a beautiful morning there for them which she stated was "another picture of God's goodness and grace". That really struck me this morning and reminded me to look for God through the storm like Peter did when he walked on the water, as long as he kept his eyes on God, he was able to make it.
Lord, help me to always keep my eyes on you. These storms are tough, the spiritual, the physical, and for me your little girl, even the weather-related. Thank you for letting me know that you are with me through all of these storms. I may not like them, but there is beauty that I can see afterward, and there strength that I seem to get as I finish growing through these storms. Thank you for your grace and goodness. You are a good God.